When I talk about effort in relationships, I don’t just mean showing up emotionally.
I also mean the ability to learn and open yourself to what the other person idolises.

There’s a difference between what can be learned and what can’t.

If someone idolises something that isn’t physical — a worldview, a curiosity, a way of seeing life, a domain of knowledge, a depth of spirituality, a way of thinking — that’s something I can open myself to. I can learn. I can stretch. I can enter worlds I haven’t touched yet.

If what someone idolises is a physicality, that’s different.
I’m not changing my body so that someone can like me.
But I can open my mind and emotions to parts of life I haven’t explored yet.

This whole year showed me that.

And it actually started from thinking about my future child.

I know I can provide care.
But I don’t just want to “care” for my child — I want to be compatible with them.

Not in the sense of them becoming me,
but in the sense that I can open myself to what they idolise.

I want to be able to integrate both of our worlds.
To see how what they love interacts with what I live.
To show them how whatever they’re drawn to is still part of the oneness we’re in — how it connects to the larger world.

That doesn’t mean forcing my language onto them.
It means being able to meet them in theirs.

And when I look back at this past year, I realise I’ve been training for that without consciously naming it.

With the people I opened my care to, I also showed myself that I had the capacity to be compatible with them. I stepped into their worlds. I learned their languages. I opened to what they idolised.

But I also had to step back from most of those relationships — not because I couldn’t love them, but because they weren’t compatible with me. They loved the way I cared for them, but they weren’t willing to open themselves to my world. They wanted the care without the bridge.

And I don’t want to bring that dynamic into my relationship with my child.

So I’m grateful for this year of training.

Since January 9th — since the dream about Esther — and then later when Esmond entered the conversation too, whether it ends up being a daughter, a son, or both, I’ve been preparing myself to be the kind of person I’d want in their life.

Not by fantasising about them,
but by becoming someone who can actually meet different worlds with openness.

If my child ends up loving metal music, I’ll learn it through them.
Not by researching it alone, but by letting them be my guide into that world — what they hear in it, what they feel in it, what it gives them, what they desire in it.

Then I’ll link that world back into the larger one I live in — not to colonise it, but to integrate it. So that when they come to me, I already carry a piece of their world inside mine. So I can be present with them in it, not just adjacent to it.

That’s the kind of presence I’m training.

This year showed me I’m capable of being an “industry chameleon,” not just a social one.

Before, I knew I could connect with people from any background.
But I hadn’t practiced opening myself to their worlds — their industries, their frameworks, their languages — and integrating my mission into those spaces.

Cinematography, tarot, quantum physics, legal systems, politics — each time I opened myself to a new world, I saw how it connected to the larger whole I live from. Not as contradiction, but as extension.

That’s compatibility at a deeper level:
not just liking the same things,
but being able to enter each other’s worlds without losing yourself.

And I realised something important:

I’m becoming the kind of person I would want to meet.
Not just in romance — in friendship, in family, in parenting, in collaboration.

Because when the person you want to be for others and the person others want to be with can meet in the middle, that’s where real longevity is born.

Not from perfection.
But from practiced openness.

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And to the sector where I was saying about efforts in relationships, it’s also the ability for one to learn and be open to what the other person idolizes. Of course, if someone idolizes something that just, that either like a physicality, that’s the thing though. If it’s something that’s not a physicality, it’s easier and it’s more possible for that one thing to be brought in. If it’s physicality that someone idolizes, that’s different because physicality is what it is. Like, I’m not going to be changing my body just so that one person can like me, but I can open my mind, I can open my emotions to segments of life that I might have not touched just yet. And this whole year showed me that. And what led to this thought, I was like thinking, well, with my child, with my future child, I wanna, I know for a fact that I can be, that I can provide the care. I also, I asked, I said, I wanna be compatible with my child, right? But it’s not just about being compatible with my child, I wanna be able to be in a place where I can open myself to whatever my child idolizes. And for us to be able to integrate both of our idols, idolizations, whatever the word you might wanna use, is also to see how the two interact with each other, how the two interconnect with each other, and how the, whatever my child will be in, whatever my child will desire, will still be part of the… Oneness that we are, so I just have to show them how that connects with it. And that’s what I’ve been doing over the past year. I’ve done that for all the people that I’ve had in my life. I touched on, well, to those who I’ve opened myself, that I’ve opened my care to, I showed myself that I had the ability to be also compatible with them. I’m not sure whether they, well, majority of the relationships that I’ve had, I had to take a step back because they weren’t compatible with me and they weren’t even willing to literally be compatible with me. They loved the way that I cared for them, but they couldn’t open themselves to my world. And I don’t wanna bring that to my child. So I’m so grateful that this whole year, since January, since January 9th, when I had the dream about Esther, and then just a couple of months ago, Edmund came into the conversation as well. So whether it’s going to be a daughter or a son, or both at the same time, there’s a name to both. And the ones that will follow, we will get there. But for now, the ways that I’m prepping myself for my family, for my loved ones, for my children, is that I want to make sure that I’ve trained myself to do all the things that I wanna deliver for them, to them, with them. Because me having the ability to do the same for relationships that didn’t work out in my life allowed me to see that I am definitely ready to be able to do it for the relationships that I do give in my life, that I do open myself to, that I do… I am the person that I would want for myself to be for them, you know, because it’s so important that we also look at the person that we want for ourselves to be for the other person as much as the person that the other person would want to be with. And when the two bridge together, that’s when you find the perfect concoction, the perfect cocktail, the perfect mix of particularities that you wanna train so that you’re then ready for them. And in doing that, in me opening, let’s say that my child will be into metal. I’ve never, well, I wouldn’t say never. I have had experience with some metal music here and there, but the whole world of it all, I haven’t delved into it. I haven’t, yeah, I haven’t delved into it. So far, because it hasn’t crossed my path yet. But if that was to be the case, then I would just learn everything about it through them. And not necessarily just doing research for myself, like I can do that, but I would rather learn it from them because then they can be my source of it to see what they like in it, what they want from it, what they see, what they desire in it, what, what’s their compatibility with that world. And then from that also see how it connects with the world in which I live in, in the world in which we live in. So because I, my world is just bringing and having. The consciousness and awareness of the world in which we live in, so I know for a fact that I will be able to always link it to it. And I don’t have to necessarily relay this every single time, it’s more for me to be able to ground their world into mine, so that every time that they come to me, I also have the integration of it within mine, and I can understand it further. And I can be there for more presence and more actively there for them. And it’s been a great journey. Like, for example, the cinematographic overall, it’s before my last relationship, I didn’t think that I would bring my mission into it. I didn’t think that I would connect. But then I started looking at, hmm, it could actually connect, and I could also use it, use the world in a different manner instead of using it just for entertainment, I can use it as a tool to collect information for the mission itself. Or even um different people that I met throughout this path, um uh was it, was it 2020, 2024, October 2024 when I started like opening myself to tarot readings, for example. And then I started seeing how that also came into the mission that I had and how everything connects. And uh or even um quantum physics, like it’s uh it’s something that uh in 2023 slash 2024, uh something that I opened myself to um because I started seeing how… Like oneness also had this reflection in quantum physics, and it allowed me just to see every industry that I’ve covered, all the way to legal and politics is my ability to just be compatible with different parts of life. And I’ve always saw myself as a social chameleon. I just hadn’t necessarily practiced the industry chameleon as well. I practiced the sociability of it all where I could connect with any individual from any background. I just hadn’t practiced the further part of going into and being interested or incorporating or integrating my own mission into their industries as well. And I think like this whole year was beautiful because I allowed myself to really just be reachable, to be able to also reach way more people and to show up in their own worlds by showing them how their worlds connect with the larger as well.