The Art of Demanding More: The Path to a Joyful Life, Not Just Joyful Moments

We have learned, over time, that we want to love and be loved. We want to be chosen and to choose. We want to prove our worth and be treated as such. Yet, in our desire to receive, something often remains unseen. And so, we settle.

We settle and, in doing so, teach people, situations, and the universe that we are okay with less. We tell ourselves that we are being reasonable, that asking for more might seem entitled or demanding. But what if we must be demanding? Not of others, not in a way that seeks control or possession, but in everything that brings us joy, freedom, and peace.

“Do not trade your authenticity for approval.” – Unknown

Not fleeting joy. Not the kind manufactured by celebrations, attention, or borrowed excitement from others. But the deep, unshakable, foundational joy of existence. The joy that doesn’t rely on a moment, but on a way of being.

“Pause for a moment. Think of the last time you compromised your standards out of fear of being ‘too much.’ Was it worth it? Write it down. Now, ask yourself—what would the version of you with the highest standards have done instead?”

The Illusion of Joyful Moments

We seek joyful moments to convince ourselves that we are living a joyful life. But these moments are a drug, a distraction, a placeholder for something we fear we might never truly attain. We rely on addictive encounters to feel something, on entertainment to fill time, on substances to feel courageous. We have become an experiment of consciousness, an exercise in finding our truest nature in the most unnatural of circumstances—this 3D reality.

And so, we take the longer route. The longer route to self-reclamation. The longer route to self-respect. The longer route to self-actualization. Because we have convinced ourselves that we must work for what has always been available to us. That we must suffer before we can receive.

But what happens when our perspective shifts? When we stop chasing happy moments and start demanding a joyful life? When we realize that happiness is not an event, but a choice, an alchemical process in which everything, no matter how difficult, can be transformed into something that serves us?

The Price of Higher Standards

Once we demand more from life, our standards rise. We begin to slow down, not out of laziness, but out of reverence for the depth of our existence. And in doing so, we begin to see the difference between a joyful moment and a joyful life.

A joyful moment has no structure, no consideration for the future. It does not build. It is self-serving and fleeting. A joyful life, however, is intentional. It has depth, connection, alignment. It does not depend on circumstances or external validation. And those who cannot tell the difference will seek to use us for joyful moments, for temporary highs, for validation they cannot give themselves.

To have high standards is to be misunderstood. People will call us arrogant. They will say we think we are better than them. Not because we do, but because it soothes their discomfort with their own choices. Because it allows them to remain in their illusions. And so, they will call us selfish for leaving, for no longer choosing them, when in reality, they were the first to not choose themselves.

Having high standards means losing everything that was built on weak foundations. It means rejecting mediocrity, not because we look down on it, but because we are committed to something greater. And in that process, people will try to make us feel guilty for choosing better. But their words are not about us. They are about their own fears, their own unwillingness to do the work, their own reliance on external things to validate their existence.

📚 The Courage to Be Disliked (by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga)

The Lonely Path of the Authentic Self

Having high standards will make us second-guess. It will make us question whether leaving is moral. But this doubt is not from our higher self—it is from the inner child who fears being alone, who fears being attacked by those left behind.

We must acknowledge this fear without succumbing to it. We must recognize that survival instincts are not the same as truth. That just because something is familiar does not mean it is right. That just because people want us to stay does not mean they are willing to grow with us.

Many will talk, but few will walk. And those of us who run cannot stop for those who only talk. We can, however, help those who are willing to walk beside us. And when they are ready to drop their survival baggage, we must be prepared for them to surpass us, for them to challenge us to run even faster.

The Ultimate Test of Worthiness

To receive everything, we must first see ourselves clearly. We must fill our own cup before allowing another to fill it for us. Because it is always easier to let someone else do the work. To wait for external validation instead of doing the deep, inner excavation required to truly know ourselves.

But having high standards is not for everyone. Because not everyone is willing to live up to their own standards. Many prefer the illusion of growth over the responsibility of accountability. And so, for those who choose to demand more, life becomes a wild, beautiful, upward rollercoaster of blessings and peace.

We must hold onto the courage and confidence that better exists. Because we are what we choose to be. And we attract what we choose to believe.

So lower your expectations for those who lack maturity. Distance yourself from those who choose comfort over growth. Hold onto the hope of something greater, no matter how lonely the path may seem. Because loneliness is just a moment in a joyful life, and a joyful life is always worth the wait.

The last to be chosen is always the first to choose themselves. And in choosing themselves, they are the first to ascend.

You deserve it all. And you can have it all. Because no limitations exist for the authentic and free self.

Choose you. And watch the universe align.