There are moments in life that collapse time. Where days feel like lifetimes. Where one interaction with another human being, especially one vibrating at their own frequency of awareness, can flip your entire internal universe inside out—and gift you with the mirror of yourself.
This is one of those stories.
It’s about me. It’s about her. It’s about you.
It’s about awakening.
And madness.
And stalking (yep, let’s go there).
And the kind of foolish bravery it takes to truly see yourself—not just in the light, but in the shadows, in the echo, in the reflection of another soul navigating their own journey.
🌪️ The Madness Begins
A month ago, I entered what I can only describe as a divine cyclone. I was orbiting so close to my own essence that my body started doing what it does in deep states of awakening: releasing DMT. Yes, without any drugs. Naturally. My body became the medicine.
I was in an altered state without altering anything. And instead of isolating, I did the most radical thing I could do in that moment: I shared it.
I reached out to someone who had been a significant energetic mirror in my life. A woman on the other side of the world. Someone aware of herself. Someone awakening in her own way. Someone who I was magnetized to because her energy was wrapped in codes my soul recognized—even if my ego didn’t fully understand what the hell was happening.
📩 The Emails
Now listen. Let me just own this: some of those emails were stalkery as hell.
At the time, I thought I was sharing sacred truths. And maybe I was. But I was also projecting. Longing. Processing in real-time through her frequency. And it was a lot. It wasn’t just about her—it was what she activated in me.
My madness was sacred. My foolishness, divine.
I look back now with a mix of awe and laughter.
I saw her as a cosmic code-keeper—and in some ways, she was.
🪞The Mirror Doesn’t Lie
Here’s the wild part.
As I was writing to her, unraveling in real time, she was doing her own internal recalibration. She stopped responding. And that silence? That was the loudest mirror I’ve ever experienced. Because in her silence, I had to face all the ways I’d betrayed my own truth, my own alignment, my own inner knowing.
I used to fear shooting my shot. Doubt my intuition. Get tangled in needing external confirmation.
But in this experience—of expressing, not being received, and choosing to let go—I found myself.
🧬 Cosmic Codes & Real-World Effects
You know what’s wild? She later shared that she saw those emails as codes from the Universe.
Yep. Literal transmissions.
They helped her elevate her own offerings, raise her prices, and anchor into her power.
Isn’t that funny? My unraveling was her activation.
Her silence was my sanctuary.
🌈 Integration Is the Real Trip
The real gift wasn’t the cosmic DMT rush.
It wasn’t the emails.
It wasn’t even her.
It was the reminder that I am the initiator of my reality.
That when I say yes to energy blocks, I block my own blessings.
That when I invest in fear, I divest from trust.
And when I share from a place of honest madness—there is medicine in that, too.
I didn’t need her to validate my awakening.
I needed her to mirror the places I wasn’t yet willing to validate in myself.
💌 So What’s the Point?
This post isn’t just a cosmic journal entry. It’s an invitation.
To see yourself in the mirror of your madness.
To laugh at your own emails.
To honor your own awakening.
To thank the people who didn’t hold your hand but held your reflection.
Because sometimes, the ones who ghost us are the ones who save us.
We are all mirrors. We are all madness. And through each other, we meet the divine.
Thank you for witnessing my unraveling.
And if you’re in a season of your own chaos—maybe it’s just your soul trying to come home.
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