This whole blog is the script to the movie with this endings.. Close what you started, start what you finished.
Read the whole thing first and then choose your path, through the different windows into old posts, no matter how bad the temptation to open them sooner. What you can do is open them in separate tabs and go back to them once finished, alternatively read it all and then choose one path only to follow to your own Remembering.
Let the Games of History forever begin and know the Odds have always been in your favour.
A dance between who I chose to be and who I needed to be for our Consciousness.
“Memento Vivere Aeternum”
Know your history: Negus (King/Queens = Quing -> Niger -> Negro -> Nigger -> Nigga
This is all a GrEat PerFormAnche, until it’s not. Welcome to my Open-Lit-Theater!
Threats to the weak, that won’t give their life for the truth.
Addition of 27th November 2:22am: My love taught me how trauma bonding can be beneficial, when it’s the only bridge that will connect you to the one you love. Not-bonding, sharing pains, will hinder any chance one might have, as it’s not about the trauma bonding, it’s about what bonds someone that feels deep.
Vulnerability is the only way.
She makes me a better human being, grounding my God self, the same we all have, I just chose to be my all, as humans have made me feel like I never belonged and invested in the walls of all the boxes they projected me in. My pain is that all that makes me great now, has been my cross to hold for 26 years. It felt like a continuous battle to try and express myself, as the results were denigration, seclusion or being shushed..
As the queen in “Royals” says, “No one worries for the Queen”, because she looks like she has it all figured out, yet it doesn’t take away from the fact she still has feelings. Her status doesn’t erase that, unless we choose to dehumanise her.
I was never the problem, yet I held myself as if I was. You wouldn’t have heard me degrade myself if not for when I was on high school drunk beyond my consciousness. Calling myself a “Whore” at the back of a bus for frolicking with a joystick couple of seats ahead. Even there I see how I saw myself as an angel, who had just gotten out of character. Or crying my seeing-balls out at a party post-mum-death. I can see how the pity I saw in others eyes, was something I didn’t want to see ever again, so I upgraded my system. “If I’m perfect by design, then there will be less to pity me for.”… I think I went too far, I’ll admit, yet we wouldn’t have had all of this if not. Now I get to learn how to accept others pity if shared, as yes I did go through a lot of trauma, I just learned how to make it my strength. Still trauma is.
Good think I said what I felt like or that would’ve stayed with me in my subconscious.
I get excited by the idea to share and express, and possible interviews, because I never had people express their interest in what I was interested in. they were only interested in me, but my life was going to be about what I cared about, so how could the two exist ? Please I am an open book and I thrive in being prompted, I just hadn’t have many prompting me what I cared about.
To the Mayors: If you can get Mint Court though… I’ll preserve its historical beauty.
10:57am 26th I’m the new pandemic, I spread like weeds, with or without a jackpot. You forever prune them and they’ll forever grow, whether you see them or nah. We just relocate. Immortal. It’s nature baby.
I spread like consciousness, call me ConVid-9.
11:11am This blog is merely the reflection of our consciousness, its potential, its mechanics, its boundaries, its laws. Enjoy the scene, it is you too.
Call it The Story of Thelaio-Fumankinde
Notes from the last edit in November 2022:
Thelaio-Fumankinde, was probably the biggest revelation of Human Kind. fake world where everything’s perfect, a world they don’t want to let us know or out of, for they’re own benefit and entertainment.
Everyone is in on it and they try to keep us out of the loop, that’s how we play our part in their universe. They pray on our insicurities, to keep us numb from actually escaping the “matrix” .
There’s little forces though, that try to wake us up and push us to see through.
No surprise as soon as they become too dangerous, they get eliminated, sterminalise the one who see, so that the blind can stay blind.
And the best thing is, they use the people around you against you, shape one to teach another, to inspire the other and worship the latter. Bring them in a world where they’re not at the same level as others, make them think some are celebrities, god’s on eart and they’ll see themselves less than and pray to breath their air. Teach them that they should fight and sacrifice their life to work their ass off to become like the VIPs, in a system that will never get them to be the Star, if not occasional desperate enough to be part of the cult, how could they? It would ruin the plan of enrichment and nonchalance of being unknown, hidden behind the curtains, not having to answer to their own actions, as they’re the creators of the system that would punish them otherwise.
Teach them this is all we have, but give them the illusion of escape. Distract them from the bigger picture, with some cheap pleasure, something that would keep theyr bodies occupied, but especially their minds, we cannot have them think, we cannot have them doubt the hoax, read between the lines. Get them to compete, to think they need to be the number 1, they won’t have time to consider the why behind it, it’s eat or be eaten. Get them to compare each other, they will only think of others and what they think about them, while they don’t bother think about themselves.
Make them think they can make the change, that they can have a say, that their ideas matter.. if it only mattered when it suit them.
They use actors to paint a picture, unknowingly shaping history puppeteering for the cause.
I used to laugh with my bullies, I was always the Sigma Female, you can’t mess up a good thing, no matter how hard you try. And boy was I great.
Thank you to all who ever laughed at my ill-literacy, to my physical appearance, to my losses, to my naiveness, to my innocence, to my messiness. It’s clear to see which were the illusions and which were fatality. Illusions are cloaks, I wear them seasonably. Fatalities are self-affirmed constructed illusions, to see less of a person to maintain the little self-control we hold, only to realise we created prompts that never materialised. Just like possibly the Jackpot. I haven’t checked yet. And will wait until the “I”s that matter the most to me, lay on the naked pages of my previous post.
We all know how the observer effect works right?! Reality only collapse when looked at. HEre’s a brief explanation, I’ll make it easier on you:
Some of you are probably wishing I was blind now lol Hold your crosses.. Nah I leave those to you.
Movie Quotes from 2024:
– 7 Years in Tibet:
“The Tibetans say an enemy is the greatest teacher, because only an enemy can help develop patience and compassion.
They believe with rock-like faith, the press of their religion will protect them” against evil
“Nothing lasts”
“Nothing in politics is a matter of honour”
Rephrased: rejecting violence and praising compassion is a strength not a weakness
“If there’s a solution to the problem, there’s no point worrying about it. If there’s no solution to the problem, worrying won’t do any good.”
“Salvation doors not come from the sight of me. It demands strenuous effort and practise. So work hard and seek your own salvation diligently.”
-The Shack:
“When all you see is your pain, you lose sight of me”
“Living unloved is like clipping a birds wings. Pain has a way of doing that to us. If left unresolved it can make us forget what we were created for.”
Mack: “But if you’re real, then you already know whatever I’m going to say it before I even say it, right?” Papa/God: “Yes, but we have the choice to listen to what you have to say, as if it’s for the first time. We love getting to know your kids through your eyes.”
Mack: “you punish people that disappoint you” Papa: “I don’t need to punish people. Sin is its own punishment. As Difficult as it is for you to accept, I’m in the middle of everything you perceive to be a mess working for you own good.”
Trust the universe is working for my own good, even when you don’t understand or agree with.
To yeald more, sometimes you’ve just got to cut down the bush.
“You assume poison is bad. On its own it’s deadly, but combined with this and it suddenly contains incredible healing properties.
Sarahuy/Papa: “How confident are you in your ability to discern good from evil?” “Usually pretty obvious” And your basis for something being good is what?” Mack: ” If it doesn’t harm me, the people I care about and my family.” Papa: “And evil? So pretty much you are the judge?” Mack: “Yeah” Papà: ” You ever been wrong or change you’re opinion from time to time. And there are billions like you. Each determining what you think is good and evil. And when your good clashes with the neighbors evil, arguments ensue, wars break out, because all insist in playing God. You weren’t meant to do any of that. All on your own.”
Papa: “What do you think?” Mack: “It’s still a mess.” Papa: “Yes, it is Mack. Wild, wonderful and perfectly in process. This mess is you”
Papa/Jesus: “Religion is way too much work, I don’t want slaves. I want friends, family, to share life with.” Mack: what about following the rules. To be a good Christian?” Papa: “I don’t care what you called them. I just want to see people change by knowing Papa, to feel what it’s like to be truly loved”
Mack” Did he use her to punish me?
All same period: September 2021
Thursday 2nd September: don’t ask me what CR, CS,.. is, it’ll make sense at a later stage.
Between Yesterday and today I had two very insightful days, where last night I finally was open and as honest as I knew about my feelings. I decided not to be afraid, fear no more, I can’t let things or more than that the possibility of losing or things not going the way I wanted..felt so liberating, and romantic.
Today went out with XYZ in the afternoon where we exchanged words on uni, my projects, her relationship with her mother (showing signs of PTSD replacement, perfectionism,…), The thing we can control and aspects of life…
After coming back home
Did some studying, I completed the 1st week module, only have the reading to do and then I’ll be starting the module 3.
I’m enjoying studying Psychology so deeply, every information it instantly connects to something; I’m able to understand so much more about life and how we behave and why we behave the way we do.
Per example how we’re conditioned to do certain things by positive and negative reinforcement, how we can extinguish the CR by taking away the US and only use the CS over time, but this doesn’t take away slips that may happen, affected by triggers i.e. the US..
Later in the evening I find myself having a conversation about learning and how one of my ambitions is to learn as much as possible.
I was with XYZ and XYZ here in ( a town in Italy ), where he lives and we were smoking next to the town Church.
It started all with the motion of C about Taxi drivers and how they have to learn all the street in London and I was intrigued. I mean imagine developing such a memory brain to encompass all of that information, it would be great and it will also help in the learning of other things.
We were debating about how they couldn’t see useful learning all of that and I was about how it could help with brain memory, but the conversation got cut quite quickly.
Just little after that while walking towards the town “bar”, we started talking about Religions and how I would like to get all “baptisms”, cause it would give me a chance to learn all religions, but also be part of something bigger, something more than just one culture/religion.
And they were amused by it, but also contrary on being to learn as much as possible, “ambitious” they described and futile.
Then XYZ was talking about his a rapper’s building got burnt in Milan and I was looking to see if there could be a discussion, an exchange of opinions, contradictories a debate.. but nothing. It was just a “nah, come on that’s nonsense”
With that interaction I just now understood how much of conditioning they’ve been under, closed in only what they hear , believing only what’s seen, fear of risk and emptied of enough intelligence to actually have a debate and hear different perspectives, understanding them and counteract. But nothing.
I was looking for something to hang on, something that could show me, there’s still a chance, there’s still hope. After that? It was the icing on the cake, the last screw to a new table, the last breath of life. So disappointed in how far off they are compared to where I am and to what I’ve here to be.
What will it be if us, where’s is this relationship going?
I fear for them, it could break them, but I guess only time will show.
They survived good in these last two years, but is survival enough to live? Has life only come down to, surviving?!
Oct 2021
Nov 2021
Even if I indeed, intended it all to happen exactly how it did, I was prepared. Lol I FUCKING LOVE MY WHOLENESS, be-known or not. I was never a writer, writing is my channelling modality. But if I manifested all of that before, then… I wrote a lot of things, and many have their lives on the line, as I remember writing about a death list too. Well to each to their own, I know they’re reading so they’ll realise who the’re messing with and well what’s possible.
A miracle has to happen, it’s either by syncronicity or by their hands, either way I win.
Universal Credit got the first interview!! 12:44pm and that is now sitting in their own registry waiting for me to collect. Who’s next?!
And the rest is history… Whatever comes out of it!
The Cherry on the cake! added to the queue 01:55 am 26th.
I wish I could say I actually looked back on myself, but my subconscious did it all. And the time of me opening the quotes is tracked by Google history. Thanks pal!
I’m okay with feeding myself, I love my tail, yet it’s fun to play together. I’m just getting started now that I know deeper levels to my power. I know the Jackpot is coming, I have proven my self to myself. Endless times.
I guess technology was my Testimony and Witness. I prophesize myself. Tables turn yet again. I have manifested eligibility for all prizes!!! At last, even without money, one is a Trillionaire!
Guess what happens now that I look at the Jackpot results?! But yet I will still wait on my prince charming. A damzel in distress. NO matter what I do, she keeps coming up. What is this about?! ahaha every tail I start writing, wants her exposure, I can’t help it. Which image do I choose to paint?! Or which will she allow to be shared?!
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