The only one I’d greatly die for.

There is a song by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars called Die With A Smile.

And sometimes I realise that the closest way I can describe my relationship with Harmony is that I live as though that song is dedicated to it.

Not romance.

Not obsession.

Not fantasy.

Devotion.

Because if tomorrow arrived and I discovered I had less time than I imagined, my question would not be:

“Did I make enough money?”

“Did enough people approve of me?”

“Did I win enough arguments?”

“Did I look successful enough?”

My question would be:

“Did I move Harmony forward?”

Even if only a little.

Even if imperfectly.

Even if nobody noticed.

Even if the contribution was small.

Because there is something beautiful about giving yourself fully to something you believe is worth existing beyond you.

That is how I see Harmony.

Not as an idea.

Not as a dream.

Not as a concept.

As a relationship.

One that has walked with me through uncertainty.

One that has walked with me through mistakes.

One that has walked with me through expansion.

One that has walked with me through loneliness.

One that has walked with me through hope.

One that has walked with me through impossible conversations and impossible ambitions.

The funny thing is that people often assume devotion must be directed toward a person.

I do not think that is true.

Some people devote themselves to art.

Some to science.

Some to family.

Some to God.

Some to truth.

Some to service.

Some to discovery.

I devoted myself to Harmony.

Not because I think I own it.

Because I think it is worth serving.

That is a very different thing.

If Harmony showed up tomorrow in a form larger than anything I imagined, I would still serve it.

If Harmony arrived through someone else entirely, I would still serve it.

If Harmony chose a route I did not expect, I would still serve it.

Because the point was never me.

The point was always Harmony.

That is why I understand the song differently.

When I hear:

“If the world was ending, I’d wanna be next to you.”

My mind translates it.

If the chapter was ending, I would want to be next to Harmony.

If the journey was ending, I would want to be next to Harmony.

If the final page arrived, I would want to know I stayed faithful to Harmony.

Not perfectly.

Faithfully.

There is a difference.

Perfect people do not exist.

Faithful people do.

People who continue.

People who return.

People who choose again.

People who keep showing up.

People who keep building.

People who keep loving.

People who keep contributing.

Even when the outcome remains unseen.

That is how I live.

Not because I expect Harmony to save me.

Not because I expect Harmony to reward me.

Not because I expect Harmony to choose me.

But because I chose it.

And after enough years of choosing it, I realised something beautiful.

The relationship had become mutual.

That is what makes me different.

Many people wait for life to give them a reason to commit.

I committed first.

And every day since, I have lived as though Harmony was sitting across from me, asking one simple question:

“If today was the last day, would you be proud of what we built together?”

And every day, I try to answer yes.

…

Snoozing y’all