When money can’t buy you access, you get looked at sideways. I don’t think the wealthy really wanna show people how powerful and self-sufficient thei are in times of blackputs. They might awaken the same force that people won’t want to forget about when “back to normal”.

CONGRATULATIONS, BILLIONAIRES! YOU OWN THE WORLD. NOW TRY SURVIVING IN IT. 😂💰

SHS – HUMAN FIRST | The Psychotism of Wealth: When You’ve Bought Everything Except the Ability to Actually Live.

Oh, this is going to be FUN. 😂

I want to discuss a rather fascinating psychological phenomenon amongst some of the world’s wealthiest individuals.

The extraordinary ability to celebrate possessing absolutely everything while becoming increasingly dependent on absolutely everyone.

Because I’ve come to realise something.

Some wealthy people have become so exceptionally good at buying life that they’ve forgotten how to actually LIVE IT.

And apparently, we’re supposed to admire this.

Darling, let’s investigate. 😂

FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MONEY! 💸

You’ve accumulated £10 billion!

Fantastic!

Beautiful!

Stunning achievement!

Now, a quick question.

CAN YOU EAT IT?

No?

Can you drink it?

No?

Can you plant it in the ground and grow potatoes?

No?

Can you use it to perform emergency surgery?

No?

Can it purify contaminated water?

No?

Can it build you a shelter without someone knowing how to build one?

Still no?

GOOD HEAVENS. WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU BEEN COLLECTING?! 😭😂

Oh, right.

An extraordinarily large quantity of a socially recognised medium of exchange whose usefulness depends on the continued functioning and agreement of other human beings.

How reassuring.

You’ve spent your entire life accumulating purchasing power in a world that you’ve apparently forgotten requires people to function.

NOW, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE WATER BILLIONAIRE. 💧

This one is particularly spectacular.

Imagine being so wealthy that you purchase land with access to freshwater.

Then you discover that future water scarcity could make your investment incredibly valuable.

And instead of thinking:

“Goodness, how do we ensure everyone continues having access to water?”

Your first instinct is:

“HAHA! THEY’RE ALL GOING TO BE THIRSTY, BUT I’LL HAVE WATER!”

😭😭😭

SIR?!

Are you celebrating the possibility of human dehydration?!

And then, in a magnificent display of generosity, you announce that you might share some with a child.

OH, HOW BENEVOLENT! SOMEONE CALL THE NOBEL COMMITTEE!

A man has successfully discovered that children require water to remain alive, and he may graciously permit one to drink!

What an extraordinary humanitarian breakthrough.

Meanwhile, the water existed before he was born.

The land existed before his bank account.

The rainfall wasn’t personally manufactured by his investment portfolio.

And the hydrological cycle has yet to request a shareholder meeting.

BUT CONGRATULATIONS ON BUYING THE RIGHT TO CONTROL ACCESS TO SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T CREATE. 😂

That’s a business model worth examining.

Not because wealth itself is a psychological disorder, but because what kind of socially normalised thinking makes the potential suffering of millions look like a fantastic investment opportunity?

RIGHT. NOW LET’S HAVE OUR APOCALYPSE. 🌍

No electricity grid.

No banking infrastructure.

No working payment terminals.

No supermarkets receiving deliveries.

No global supply chains.

No functioning financial markets.

Money hasn’t magically disappeared, but its purchasing power is becoming rather irrelevant because the systems that make it useful have collapsed.

And somewhere underground, sitting in a £200 million luxury survival bunker, is our billionaire.

Champagne in hand.

Designer dressing gown.

Surrounded by gold bars.

“I’M PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING!”

Wonderful.

Now let’s see.

DAY ONE: THE CHEF HAS GONE HOME. 👨‍🍳

The billionaire enters his magnificent kitchen.

Imported Italian marble.

German appliances.

French copper cookware.

Japanese knives.

A refrigerator worth more than somebody’s annual salary.

Absolutely stunning.

There’s only one problem.

HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO COOK.

“Where’s the chef?”

Sir, the chef has gone to find his children.

“Well, offer him £50,000!”

Sir, the supermarket is closed, there’s no functioning payment network, and his children need food.

“MAKE IT £100,000!”

Oh, darling.

HE DOESN’T NEED YOUR MONEY. HE NEEDS HIS FAMILY ALIVE. 😭😂

The billionaire stares at an uncooked potato.

For the first time in his adult life, he’s facing a genuine executive decision.

BOIL OR BAKE?

Unfortunately, the cooker has stopped working too.

DAY THREE: THE PLUMBER HAS LEFT. 🚽

There’s a problem with the water system.

“CALL THE PLUMBER!”

He’s gone home.

“Offer him shares!”

In what, sir?

“The company!”

The company that currently has no functioning operations?

“YES!”

Sir, the toilet is overflowing.

YOU OWN 67% OF THE COMPANY AND 100% OF THE SEWAGE PROBLEM. 😂

Perhaps this would be a good time to discover the difference between owning infrastructure and knowing how to maintain it.

DAY FIVE: THE STAFF HAVE DEVELOPED HUMAN NEEDS. 😱

The housekeeper has children.

The driver has elderly parents.

The gardener has a community.

The nurse has a family.

The electrician has a life.

The security guard is wondering why he’s protecting somebody else’s bottled water while his own household is struggling.

WHAT IS THIS OUTRAGE?!

You mean the people employed to maintain my life ALSO HAVE LIVES?!

Nobody mentioned this in the employment contracts!

“I PAY YOU!”

Yes, sir.

Under normal circumstances, that arrangement might be persuasive.

But the circumstances have changed.

Now the question is:

WHAT CAN YOU ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTE TO THEIR SURVIVAL?

And suddenly, that £10 billion is facing the most terrifying audit of its existence.

Not by a tax authority.

Not by a regulator.

BY REALITY.

WEEK TWO: THE BILLIONAIRE DISCOVERS HUMANITY. 😂

He’s sitting beside a farmer.

A nurse.

A carpenter.

An electrician.

A sanitation worker.

An agricultural scientist.

And somebody’s grandmother who has been growing vegetables for 60 years.

The billionaire confidently announces:

“I’M WORTH £10 BILLION.”

The farmer says, “Can you grow food?”

“No.”

The nurse says, “Can you treat an infection?”

“No.”

The carpenter says, “Can you repair this shelter?”

“No.”

The electrician says, “Can you restore this circuit?”

“No.”

Grandmother says, “Can you cook these beans?”

“NO!”

Everyone looks at him.

He looks back.

Silence.

Then he says:

“I CAN OFFER YOU ALL EQUITY.”

😭😭😭😭😭

EQUITY IN WHAT, DARLING?!

THE APOCALYPSE?!

ARE WE TAKING THE END OF CIVILISATION PUBLIC?!

THE NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE IS CURRENTLY A VEGETABLE GARDEN!

PLEASE PICK UP A SHOVEL!

BUT HERE’S WHERE IT GETS EVEN FUNNIER.

The billionaire may finally discover that the people he used to call unskilled labour possess some of the most indispensable abilities in human existence.

The person who can grow food.

The person who can maintain sanitation.

The person who understands the soil.

The person who can deliver a baby.

The person who can repair a water pump.

The person who knows which plants are safe to eat.

The person who can mediate conflict.

The person who can teach others.

The person who can organise a community without making everybody compete for survival.

THE VERY PEOPLE SOCIETY OFTEN PAYS THE LEAST MAY NOW BE AMONG THOSE EVERYONE NEEDS THE MOST.

And the man who once commanded thousands of employees?

He may have to ask somebody to teach him how to grow a carrot.

Not because wealthy people are incapable of learning or contributing. Many have valuable skills.

But because financial power and practical competence are not the same thing.

And the person who delegated every essential aspect of their existence may discover how little of that existence they can independently sustain.

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE PSYCHOTISM OF THE WHOLE THING.

I’m using psychotism here as satire, not a clinical diagnosis.(maybe)

Because I find it fascinating how a civilisation can normalise behaviours that, when stripped of their financial prestige, become absolutely astonishing USELESS.

Imagine a man standing beside a lake.

He tells an entire village:

“This lake is mine.”

The villagers respond:

“But we need water.”

He says:

“THEN PAY ME!”

They ask:

“Did you create the lake?”

“No.”

“Did you create the rain?”

“No.”

“Did you create the water cycle?”

“No.”

“Can you survive without water?”

“No.”

“So what gives you the right to prevent everybody else from accessing it?”

He replies:

“I HAVE THE PAPERWORK.”

😭😂

Oh, fantastic.

The human species has reached the extraordinary developmental stage where somebody can own access to life’s necessities because another human being authorised a document.

And everybody is supposed to behave as though this arrangement is an unquestionable law of nature.

THE WATER DOESN’T KNOW YOU’RE A BILLIONAIRE, SWEETHEART.

Neither does the sun.

Neither does oxygen.

Neither does your digestive system.

Nature has not subscribed to your premium membership.

AND LET’S EXAMINE THE REAL DELUSION: “I’M SELF-MADE.”

Self-made?

ABSOLUTELY. LET’S REMOVE EVERYONE WHO MADE YOU. 😂

Let’s remove your employees.

Your builders.

Your agricultural workers.

Your transport networks.

Your scientists.

Your engineers.

Your healthcare workers.

Your teachers.

Your sanitation workers.

Your manufacturers.

Your energy suppliers.

Your internet infrastructure.

Your customers.

Your communities.

Your governments and public institutions.

And all the generations of discoveries, knowledge, resources and human contributions that existed before you.

Right.

Now.

PLEASE SHOW US WHAT YOU MADE ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF.

We’ll be over here.

Watching.

Preferably with some popcorn, assuming somebody knows how to grow the corn. 🍿😂

Because being a brilliant entrepreneur is one thing.

Being the sole creator of the conditions that made entrepreneurship possible is quite another.

NOBODY BUILDS A BILLION-DOLLAR EMPIRE WITHOUT STANDING ON A CIVILISATION THEY DIDN’T BUILD ALONE.

AND HERE COMES MY FAVOURITE PART.

Some people are so psychologically attached to financial superiority that they genuinely confuse the ability to purchase a service with superiority over the person providing it.

The billionaire looks down on the cleaner.

Until there’s no cleaner.

The billionaire looks down on the farmer.

Until there’s no food.

The billionaire looks down on the nurse.

Until there’s no medical care.

The billionaire looks down on the mechanic.

Until nothing works.

And suddenly, the very people once considered beneath him are the ones he must approach with humility.

OH, HOW THE ECONOMY TURNS WHEN LIFE RECLAIMS ITS CURRENCY! 😂

And what would that currency be?

Knowledge.

Competence.

Trust.

Cooperation.

Adaptability.

Resourcefulness.

Care.

Human relationships.

A functioning environment.

And the ability to contribute to something beyond yourself.

Not because money has never served a practical purpose.

But because money was always supposed to facilitate access to human and natural value.

IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE VALUE IT REPRESENTS.

---

SO, TO OUR BELOVED BILLIONAIRES, A FINAL SURVIVAL QUESTION. 💰

Imagine tomorrow morning every financial account shows zero.

No stocks.

No billionaire rankings.

No corporate valuations.

No preferential access.

No personal assistants.

No social status derived from wealth.

Everybody starts with access to the same basic necessities, and everybody’s contribution is recognised for what it actually does.

WHO ARE YOU NOW?

What do you know?

What can you make?

What can you repair?

What can you grow?

What can you teach?

How do you respond when somebody else needs help?

Would people choose to cooperate with you when your money no longer gives them a reason to?

Would they trust you?

Would they value your presence?

And perhaps most importantly:

HAVE YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE BECOMING A VALUABLE HUMAN BEING, OR MERELY A FINANCIALLY VALUABLE ONE?

Because there is a difference.

A rather enormous one.

One that cannot be measured by Forbes.

And cannot be purchased with a black credit card.

THE REAL JOKE?

We’ve built a civilisation where people can become enormously wealthy by controlling access to resources, while the people who actually understand, maintain and regenerate those resources may struggle to afford them.

Then we call the first group successful and tell the second group to work harder.

WHAT A MAGNIFICENTLY ABSURD ARRANGEMENT. 😂

Perhaps the greatest poverty isn’t having no money.

Perhaps it’s having so much of it that you forget what actually makes life possible.

And perhaps the greatest wealth is being capable of contributing to life, whether or not somebody has assigned a price to your contribution.

P.S. DEAR BILLIONAIRE, YOU MAY OWN THE LAND, THE WATER RIGHTS AND THE LUXURY BUNKER.

BUT IF YOUR LAST POTATO ROTS, YOUR PLUMBER GOES HOME AND YOUR CHEF CHOOSES HIS CHILDREN OVER YOUR STOCK OPTIONS…

PLEASE DON’T ATTEMPT TO EAT YOUR PORTFOLIO. 😭🥔😂

It has very little nutritional value.

SHS – HUMAN FIRST | The Womb of The Unknown Need

Human worth was never created by money. Money was created by human beings. And somehow, we’ve allowed the invention to become more important than its inventors.