I, YOU, US
We’ve all been taught the ritual of release — to let go of energies, emotions, memories, stories. It’s like a sacred courtesy, the polite thing to do. But here’s a wild truth that’s often overlooked: We never truly need to release.
If you look at life through a finite mind — one that wants neat endings, clear boundaries, and comfortable boxes — then yes, releasing seems necessary. But what if the problem isn’t holding on, but rather how small your view is?
When you widen your perception to infinity, the idea of release fades. Instead, you expand. You hold it all — discomfort, joy, shadow, light — and become so utterly comfortable in yourself that nothing outside can phase you. That’s real comfort.
Yet so many chase comfort before the edge, before the turmoil, before the growth. We avoid the chaos, the dissonance, the wild waves. But everything is in everything — and nothing is in all. There is no need for stress or resistance. Move through life like the boss of yourself.
If someone else needs bossing around because they can’t boss themselves yet, then sure—take the lead. Someone’s gotta do it.
As we clean the universe’s feces of narratives — those old, sticky stories that clog the cosmic pipes — we gift ourselves clearer, cleaner perspectives. Those who come into this space get to see their behaviors reflected, to confront the opposite of what they think they are, and choose something better… or simply own what they already are.
Think of the darkest parts of humanity — serial killers, for example. If we didn’t have those extremes externalized, their energies would be more expanded within all of us. The scapegoat holds space for the collective to not have to carry it all at once. Without scapegoats, would humanity implode? Would we all kill ourselves?
Individualism is but a sacred experience — a dive into hell to gather trinkets to alchemize, to close vortices that would otherwise drain the collective’s light. Hell itself is fully loved, seen, and appreciated — now it works with us, not against us.
I once saw a video with a line that cracked me up: “Bro, even the Devil resigned.” Because if the Devil were a person, he’d be thanking us — no one left to spit on his fires, as what’s hell if it doesn’t burn?
The Merkabah of Life: A Dance of Pain and Pleasure
Pain, humiliation, suffering — these are not just inevitable, they’re essential. They sustain life.
So why do we run from them? Why do we abstain from pain, when pain is what keeps us alive?
Without pain, we numb out. We lose connection to our body, our emotions, our aliveness. The fight-or-flight response is not a problem. It’s a tool — a compass that has kept humanity alive for millennia.
We will always feel it. The question is not whether pain exists, but how we navigate it.
If pain is necessary, then our real work isn’t escaping it — it’s choosing which pain we want to carry.
Everything is balanced. Everything is dual. If one side exists, the other must too. You can’t define light without darkness.
For masochism to exist, there must be a counterpart. Someone or something to provide the pain the masochist desires. These are just words carved into the infinite web of existence. There is no one-size-fits-all. Life is a dance of forces, and this duality echoes through every corner of our being.
Masochism is denying one’s expression.
Sadism is to deny another’s expression.
It’s all a spectrum, from saying no to candies to putting some in jail.
Think about this: excitement and anxiety often feel the same in the body. Why do we call it anxiety and not excitement?
If pain keeps us alive, why worry when you hit a bump on your daily grocery run? Would you rather have bigger pains? No. You get what you get, you take it with grace, and you move forward.
When what you get isn’t enough, and you decide to lean deeper into it or resist, the universe will offer you a bigger threshold to clear — a wilder bridge of pain to cross — because it knows you need it to survive.
In this sense, the universe is a sadist — the provider of exactly the pain we require, until we pivot. Can you see which pain you’re inflicting yourself right now, all the way to the macro of your life?
We get to be conscious or unconscious masochists — choosing to meet that pain before it escalates.
Humiliation: The Radical Freedom of Not Giving a Fuck
Humiliation is the ability to not care how you’re perceived. To humiliate yourself with confidence is to be paradoxical, contradictory — to be the odd one out.
Sadism is a never-ending carving, a continual defining. It never says, this carving is permanent. The masochist within has the power to shapeshift, to refuse to be bound by one single definition.
So the masochist has a sadist inside, and the sadist has a masochist inside. One cannot exist without the other.
When you realize this, you realize you must be both.
The question is: Will you choose to wear both shoes willingly?
If not, power plays start. Because without balance, the game becomes unconscious, chaotic, and painful.
Personal Reflection: My Dance with Sadism and Masochism
I’ve lived a life of masochism in perception and sadism in behavior — through rebellion, resistance, and refusal to play by the rules.
Now I get to be both consciously.
Am I giving myself away to 4Honeth and thousands of people for the sake of building this space? Yes. It’s a pain, because I love my solitude.
But I get to be a sadist in remembrance of self — acting the villain to awaken the masses. That’s pretty cool.
Sure, I’m not Miranda Priestly — I don’t know what built her, but sometimes I get to be her. Mostly I’m a teddy bear, but I carry an arsenal of shadows, ready when needed.
Like tantra, you don’t have to touch. You inflict pain in not allowing to be touched and you suffer the pain of not touching.
The pain can be in the not-touching — yet that very absence is what fuels the rush of pleasure and desire.
In the end, life is the Merkabah — the chariot — spinning in the eternal dance of pain and pleasure, destruction and creation, sadism and masochism.
Embrace the dance.
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