Belated All Saints.

The greatest loss is that the world won’t be able to experience me and my mum together on this. She had already built such a beautiful system for her and her community. Me representing the new expansion of society and her representing a minority rising from the ends of Sierra Leone into western – systematical maturity. I genuinely believe we would have been unstoppable. Two fires that no one has been able to shut down if not ourselves. Her stubborness led her to her end and mine will forever remind me of the inevitability of mine.

I would have loved for people to have experienced the love she had to give, I would have loved to bring home those I love and having them experience the unconditionality she had to offer to anyone that stepped into the pur home. She would have had some others envious of what they hadn’t built for their own as their offsprings experienced it with me, which didn’t help with the coordination of her stubborness, but at least they would have been able to experience what they deserved but never gotten.

I can only try and live off her legacy, the little I knew of her and what others relay. Soo many keep reminding me how great she was and I really wished the world could have experienced her beyond our proximities and those who connected with those in our community. Hundreds of people showing up to her home was the most inspiring thing I had ever seen in my 27 years of life and it wasn’t even her funeral, meaning the news came in the day and all dropped whatever they were doing just in solidarity, as her body wasn’t and never made it back in the country, something that marked me on possibly one of the hardest days of my life and a whole week of people just popping by just in her remembrance. Man I wish she had faked her own death, at least she’d had the chance to show up one day and still have us washed by the endless love she had to give.

I’m honoured to have experienced it, but if I had the choice I would have traded another couple of years with her and had all of this at later stages, as she could have had so much more to give to humanity with each other on each other’s side. Instead she looks over me, with me, for me from the back of my soul’s subconscious, like a permanent file no one and nothing can erase.

If she had made it back, I assume either one of us might have had a huge moment in 2033, I would have experienced the rich life in Africa, probably developed all of this from there with resources, people that would have done anything for us, and with the time and space to physically see the repercussion of the remnants of colonisers, instead of living here in Britain, without having experienced this world I might have been less considering and possibly created even more damage for the western world from there, as I wouldn’t have had any emotional attachments to it.

And if you mix that with having direct access to “witchcrafts”, sorcerers, necromancers, shamans, and someone who was raised in that world next to me, there would have been nothing I wouldn’t have been capable of. The western world benefitted from my mum’s death the most. Yet also lost one of its greatest resource in my perspective.

I would have learned the slave history first and that would have built a lot of resentment and anger, emotions that don’t go well with powers beyond societal, as it can lead to wjat I call bad magic, not black magic. Not juju either, as that can be good too. Trust I would know.

She was part of the Bondu/Sande community and that’s all I can say. I’d rather have her alive and with them than forever gone as her. I pray.