There’s something about Shane, man. Honestly, she’s one of my favorite characters out of the entire world, and not because of her sexual lifestyle, but because of those cracks that you see in between moments. For example, there was an episode where Bette and Tina were sitting on their staircases, and she was walking from one of her nightstands, and the respect that she showed them, and also the hope that she shown to having herself in sight of them, regardless of whether she knows how to hold on to commitment or not. It is the fact that you can see what she hopes for herself, where she was like, I’m so glad that there is still hope that a relationship, that two people can still love each other after seven or eight years, something like that. I don’t remember verbatim. Or her undying loyalty for her friend, her tenderness, even behind the androgynous look, meaning even when that girl who was putting posters all over town about her being a monster, she felt for the lady when she was crying, and she hugged her and was present with her instead of attacking her, you know? Because she deeply understood where she was coming from. She understood that she was having an emotional reaction to a hurt that Shane did create. Well, didn’t necessarily create, but contributed to, in the sense of that girl wanted more than Shane was willing to provide, but also felt her for the fact that Shane moved on to the next girl within probably either hours or days, and that might have made her feel like she was just, that she was not important enough to have made an impact on Shane, or to change and interrupt Shane’s ways of being. And it reminds me of really and truly humanity these days, because it doesn’t matter how much truth you put in front of them, sometimes, like, they’re just so stuck in their own ways that it doesn’t shake them. It doesn’t change them. It doesn’t have them be anything more than what they’ve been, you know? And that’s, I guess, the biggest pain of this job of being a metaphysical expert, is because my job is to relay reality back to itself, yet where humans don’t want to see reality, or see reality and still disconnect from themselves, or disconnect from the actual movement with the knowledge, or actioning the knowledge. It becomes painful to watch, and I do take on the role of that blonde lady. I’ve done it so many times, really and truly, with a lot of people that I’ve held accountable. Now I don’t do that anymore just because it’s not just a waste of time, because it doesn’t change things, but also a waste of energy, because its intensity isn’t what shakes them. Money shakes them. That’s the only thing that they follow. So you gotta understand what people actually follow to understand what might have them move, might have them, you know, show humanity in the places that they don’t necessarily bring humanity to. And Shane reminds me so much of humanity because she’s showing and embodying the non-committal aspect of humanity in the most extreme way. Now, I condone one-night stands, because, but in the ways in which I would go about it would be setting up the expectations up front. If there’s someone that I personally don’t see to build a relationship with. For example, I wrote about the perfect date two days ago. If by the end of that first day there’s not much to build a relationship upon, I am that person that if the connection and the attraction is there and is shared, then there is room for one-night stands, because I’m still having a human experience. One might see it as a filler time. I see it as so many things. First thing, practice, because practice does make perfect, but it’s also a way to leave things on a high, you know? And honestly, I’m so ready for my Shane lifetime, for my Shane timeline, not lifetime, timeline. Because that’s one aspect that I haven’t necessarily dove into. Yeah, I’ve had multiple chances for. And it’s also an experience that brings out, for someone like myself that is self-assessing, that is conscious, that does pay attention, that does challenge myself to understand myself even deeper. That will bring aspects of myself that I might have not even thought of. And at the same time, it gives a chance to myself to share myself with others. Because it’s not necessarily something that I would give to everyone. I would give it to those who, for whatever reason, we might not see a life together, but we see a connection there. We see, like, purity, or we see something good enough, but just not good enough for the long term. It might be good enough for a girlfriend or boyfriend relationship, but because the goal is partnership and not girlfriend or boyfriend, then it might just be a one-night stand. And that is to avoid entering into filler relationships that can also take away the attention from the direction that I’m taking when it comes to romance, when it comes to that specific bracket. Because obviously two different things, different ways of going about it and whatnot, but well, circumstantially, of course. But Shane just shows me so much, like the emotional guardedness, but she reserves that to the encounters that she goes through, and later down the road, because obviously I’ve already seen the show. I know that it will be the same that she goes into the relationship with Carmen, even though for Carmen, she will be the one who starts taking down the guards and really tests her own ability to trust commitment, because the reason why she does it is because she fears her heart getting shattered. She fears investing emotions into something that might not work. And that is possibly the biggest pain of all that we see in the character, but we also see in humanity: the fear of getting emotionally hurt because they don’t know how to actually emotionally regulate themselves, not to the extent of a heartbreak. They see so much about heartbreak, we have songs about heartbreak, we have movies about heartbreak, we have individuals. In our lives that go through heartbreak, and none of them make heartbreak look good. Sure, some have been the biggest successes in the world. I mean, think of the song Hello by Adele, you know? But at the same time, when you’re actually deep the emotions that are discussed, they’re quite deep. And because of how entertainment has set up people to fear almost heartbreak, because no one wants to break their heart, right? Instead of actually educating how to hold the heart through heartbreak, it’s only shown how bad heartbreak looks. I have documented the whole process of my heart being broken and how it also hasn’t necessarily affected my own self-confidence, how it hasn’t affected my life. I’ve allowed it to fuel my life, because my heartbreak didn’t get me to a place of, like not having a societal job. That was a conscious choice. The two have nothing to do with each other, you know? The heartbreak didn’t get me to be homeless. There were other circumstances that played into it, you know? Because of the path of career that I’m taking. And some might say even, oh, writers chase, which is something that I had forgotten that I had heard in this show, but watching, like, Jenny Schecter and how everyone describes, you know, the fact that she is, like an experience, like she looks for experiences so that she can write about it. Me, I just write about my life experience. I don’t search for experience to write about it. The experiences come to me, and then I write about it. So it’s like, it’s a different way and a different approach. I document. I don’t create to write, because writing isn’t the path that I’m choosing to partake. I’m choosing to genuinely change the ways in which society does things. So the approach is different, though to some it looks the same. Why the fuck would I want to be a homeless person? I do not choose this. It happens, and then I make the most of it, you know? But at the same time, when I look at Shane, she’s a gold. She’s a golden person, because you can see the aspects that she does not bring in a romantic life, though that would make her romantic life successful if she did. Yes, she only brings in her friendships and whatnot. Like her loyalty, if she brought the loyalty that she gives to her friends in her romance as well, that alone will help so much going through the motions of it all. But at the same time, for someone that fears vulnerability, it is an issue either way, regardless, you know? Like we don’t hear, obviously, there’s a whole… Like we only see aspects of the narrative itself, and the mind… well, the directors cannot necessarily fully represent everything and everyone. But even how she shows up for that friend from the past, giving us some glimpses into how she used to be before the Shane that we met starting from episode one. Oh my God, I feel like Rotten Tomatoes right now. Lol. We see that she used to have a completely different life in the sense of, like drugs and partying and sex for money and all that thing. That’s what’s alluded to. But it also happens that that whole life and that one connection with him then led to her biggest success: having and gaining her own shop because of a connection that was made through the other guy that was still on the street, that she supported and helped and used to do the same with. But they then went separate ways. She was able to get back up and running and build something for herself, and the other just stayed exactly where they were. And the multiple contradictions that we see in the character, to be fair, I don’t personally see them as contradictions. I see them as elements that just make up the wholeness of Shane, and it’s just beautiful to see how even every individual that I might dissect surgically, I can see the vulnerabilities of everyone. It’s just that I also see how they choose not to be vulnerable. And that is the weight of having a bigger perspective, because you can literally see where people stop themselves and in doing so also hurt themselves, because they’re the only ones who don’t get to experience actual life in real life. But at the same time, to each to their own. If someone doesn’t allow themselves to experience life for what life is, that is a choice of theirs, and that will be something that they will have to come for and account for at some point. Because time, again, like I said, it’s not something that we do get back. We do get cycles of similar experiences, but we will never get the exact experience of cycle one down the road as cycle five, especially if we’ve neglected cycle one, two, three, four, you know? It will always be different. And the more people neglect themselves, their humanity for jobs, titles, reputation, and shit like that, the more they will have to account for, especially living in a world with someone like myself. There’s no one that cannot be exposed by me. It’s whether I choose to or not. Even during my own circumstances, there’s so much. Just in the last two weeks, there’s so many things that I’ve seen from people around me and beyond me that could possibly, I mean, hurt a lot if it was to be exposed. Now, is it ethical for me to? What are the things that I focus on? Like me right now, I’m focusing on my own shit and doing what’s best for humanity. So going on a snitching campaign for no reason other than just snitching means nothing to me, because there’s no value to the masses. The value to the individual is learn how to account for yourself, or someone will account for you. But it could also be that it gets taken as just learn how to hide it better, you know? And that does not help the situation nor the individual in the long run. So there’s no point to do so. And that’s why it’s important to actually have a clear understanding as to why you do certain things.