” Hey, We still have a dream, it just happens to be moving elsewhere for the meantime.

So, as a creative, my first next step is actually to look at the numbers that I relate to.

Because when you look at eight, eight is basically infinite creation.

Seven, to me, is only creation.

It is the introduction to creation.

But eight is its fullness, because eight is infinity.

It is the ability to continuously integrate.

You integrate once, and now you have learned how to integrate.

Then the job becomes to continuously integrate in different places the exact same frequency of continuation that you have chosen to walk by.

Your identity.

Your way of being.

Your understanding.

Your willingness to keep going.

And then there is nine.

Nine is completion.

But nine does not need elevation in order to be completed.

It is complete on itself.

It is the aspect of finality.

Which means that, in my understanding, nine could be worth one, while eight could be worth ten.

Because if eight is infinity, and infinity does not operate through one segmented being or one fixed endpoint, then the mirror can become distorted.

You look at nine and think:

Final.

But it isn’t necessarily final in the way we think.

And then you look at eight and realise that eight is actually able to continuously find finality within things.

Complete something.

Integrate it.

Move it.

Complete another.

Integrate again.

Continue.

That is where protection comes in.

That is where self-worth comes in.

Because if you allow certain things to happen without saying anything, without doing anything, without protecting yourself, then eventually that is on you too.

Not because everything that happens to you is your responsibility.

But because there comes a point where self-preservation becomes part of creation.

Infinity needs to be able to keep growing infinitely.

And if there are places where the doors do not open, then we are not necessarily going to attack those doors with more force.

There are levels to everything.

There is a time for persistence.

There is a time for pressure.

There is a time for trying again.

And there is also a time for decrease.

A slowing down.

A recognition that something has reached a finality of its own.

The political campaign reached one of those points for me.

So I move.

Not because the energy disappeared.

Because the energy found somewhere else to go.

Never compare me to others

There are a couple of things I wrote down that I want to keep with me.

Never compare me to others; you’ll do yourself a disservice.

And:

Never assume you’ve understood my intentions without asking for clarification.

Even then, you have to understand that there are infinite ways I could still see other intentions connected to what I have done.

That is part of me.

I am magical.

It is only that people haven’t seen it.

And I mean that through my own metaphysical understanding of myself and reality.

I am not presenting that as something somebody else has to scientifically validate.

I know what I experience.

And I know what I create.

I can be a couple of different artists now

I can be the artist who writes cruelly everything she sees.

Completely honestly.

Without making everything comfortable.

Without sanding the edges off.

Or I can be the artist with the fluidity of Crystal.

And I think I want to continue that character, especially while that storyline remains open.

Because Crystal gets to embody thoughts that might otherwise have nowhere to go.

Not necessarily because nobody else could ever think them, but because I have shown an ability to house particular combinations of thoughts, contradictions, observations and energies and actually hold a conversation with them.

And I love a conversation.

So it becomes art.

That way, nobody has to doubt what I was thinking.

Nobody has to wonder what I meant.

And perhaps, one day, nobody can even say:

“But it was only fiction.”

Because the fiction is based on real life.

The delivery is cartoonised.

The storyline is dramatised.

The characters are fictionalised.

But the underlying experiences, questions, tensions and observations are real.

That is the point.

Crystal knows she can, eventually, have things that resemble superpowers.

But again, that is the fictionalised delivery.

Crystal does not yet have the manifestation of those powers.

And she knows that.

For now, she is a social hero.

A social supervillain.

Depending on the day.

Depending on the scene.

Depending on what the story requires.

And honestly, for now I am choosing to continue with the understanding that there is nothing magical about the experience itself other than the synchronicities, the extraordinary number of synchronicities, the alignments, the opportunities opening and the strange ways in which things seem to meet at exactly the right moment.

So I’ll simply be me.

Doing life.

Posting my thoughts through art.

That is enough.

A past subject is not a reopened chapter

And yes, I might talk about politics.

I might talk about governance.

I might talk about something from the past.

That does not mean I have reopened that chapter of my life.

It means I am talking about something that affects my life.

At the same time, I am nurturing the machine of my creations.

And all of my creations nurture each other.

Every timeline I choose nurtures another timeline.

Every path gives something to another path.

Because ultimately, they are all in the same quest:

bringing value to humanity.

That is the one thing that really counts at the end of the day.

So whether it is politics, art, business, law, metaphysics, education or some completely different segment of life, the value can still be the same.

And that means the paths are interchangeable.

One day I might open a bank.

One day I might decide to get the pieces of paper that allow me to be a lawyer.

One day the creativity itself might produce numbers that push me back towards politics.

It really depends on how life manifests itself.

And I am fluid enough, but grounded enough in myself, to know that whatever direction I move in, I am still capable of making something extraordinary out of it.

That is the fantastic part.

I do not have to choose one identity and kill every other possibility.

I can navigate all of them.

The responsibility question

There is, however, one thing I would still want to donate to a possible future in politics.

And that is a question I think SHS needs to answer:

How do we protect humanity when a person occupies a role that is indispensable at that specific moment in time?

I have used the example of a head of state because of the recent conversations around SHS, but the principle is bigger than that.

What happens when there is genuinely no one else who can perform the role that needs to be performed at that particular point in history?

Literally no one else.

Because if I were to accept a role of responsibility through SHS, imagine humanity said:

“Yes. Let’s do it.”

And then one day I said:

“You know what? I’m just going on holiday.”

That cannot simply be the end of the conversation.

Once I have accepted the responsibility, I have accepted accountability for that responsibility.

So, in those circumstances, I think we have to start treating leaders like employees.

There are specific working days.

Specific hours.

There are maternity and paternity considerations.

Bereavement.

Rest.

Recovery.

Retirement.

There would have to be systems for all of those things.

But there is an important distinction.

Imagine someone retires for three years.

Fine.

During those three years, we look for someone who can refill the role.

But what happens if there is genuinely nobody who can?

Then perhaps that person has to return.

Not because they are owned by humanity.

Because the role is needed by humanity, and because they accepted that responsibility in the first place.

That is the difficult bit.

A bad leader affects humanity through the weaknesses of the leadership.

And where there is someone else who can fulfil the role required at that moment, the governance system should be able to recognise that too.

There is also the matter of rest.

Rest is valuable.

Mental recovery matters.

Physical recovery matters.

A clear mind matters.

But those things cannot simply become a permanent escape hatch from responsibility.

There needs to be meaningful reasoning behind absence.

And it cannot become a pattern of somebody repeatedly refusing the work.

At the same time, humanity should not force someone to sacrifice every part of their life just because they accepted a role.

There are ways to bridge the two.

Perhaps the person governs from somewhere warm because that is where their mind works best.

Perhaps the person needs a different environment to think clearly.

Perhaps being in the grey of London is counterproductive when they could perform exactly the same role somewhere else.

Then find the bridge.

Responsibility can exist without destroying the life of the individual carrying it.

There are ways to do everything.

The Ouroboros

And perhaps that is what I have done with my own life.

I have created an Ouroboros outside of myself.

A self-feeding creative machine.

Maybe the greatest one of all.

The capacity to be all and choose none.

To navigate all of it precisely because I refuse to cap myself inside one individual category.

Everything feeds everything else.

Every individual part gives something to the others.

And at any point, I can pick up another hat and continue growing from there.

Because I have already grown beyond what was standard in my own understanding at that specific moment, unless humanity eventually catches up with it.

And that is the strange gift of freedom.

Humanity gave me the possibility to be all without capping me inside one individual aspect of society.

And because of that, I have repeatedly seen where the growth was not there.

Where there was lack of growth.

Lack of alignment.

Lack of ability to hold the intensity of what I was bringing.

So I moved.

I found another road that needed growth.

I moved again.

I found another.

Until sometimes the intensity became too much, and moving elsewhere became inevitable.

That is not necessarily failure.

Sometimes that is simply the next integration.

Eight.

Infinite continuation.

I love being claimed

Because I actually do love being claimed.

Not owned.

Claimed.

I am offering my intellect to humanity.

It is my prerogative to decide where I place it.

To me, the fundamental requirement is simple:

I need to be able to think.

That is my real currency.

I can bring that anywhere.

So whether I am creating art, building a business, studying law, exploring metaphysics, designing governance or doing something completely unrelated, I am still me.

I am free to be all precisely because I am not one individual category.

I contain many aspects of humanity.

And I understand the intensity of my own being.

So, at this point in my life, there is something that becomes extremely important to me in relationships, partnerships and every other type of human connection:

expressed desire.

Expressed agreement.

Expressed sensuality.

Expressed willingness.

Clarity.

Because many people have tried to hold the line of my identity without actually being able to hold it.

So I have learned that I need the other person, partner, collaborator or connection to actually say:

I want this.

Not assume.

Not imply.

Not vaguely gesture.

Not expect me to decode it.

Say it.

Because in the absence of clarity, I play.

With clarity, I am responsible.

Simple as that.

Because I actually bring value.

And there are so many people who want the benefit of that value without wanting to do the work required to participate in the relationship that produces it.

There is a difference.

I am doing the work.

And I will continue to do the work.

Forever, if necessary.

However far I go, my creations will remain the proof in the pudding.

No shame in being the main character

And yes.

I can be full of myself.

Openly.

No shame.

I can be arrogant.

No shame.

I can be the star.

I can be the main character.

Because sometimes that is exactly what the story is.

I was in Victoria Park, and there is this enormous tree.

Everyone was sitting on the benches.

I sat on the tree.

And I made it my throne.

Why not?

It was beautiful.

And then I thought about the name.

Victoria Park.

The park of victory.

And Queen Victoria existed before the park existed.

Someone had already called me the queen.

They literally told me:

“You’re the queen.”

And suddenly the lines matched.

Amazing.

Beautiful.

Maybe that is the point of the creative life.

You don’t have to reduce every synchronicity into an explanation.

Sometimes you can simply notice it.

Sometimes you can sit on the tree.

Sometimes you can make it your throne.

Sometimes you can look at the absurdity of the world and say:

Of course.

Because maybe eight really is about learning how to keep integrating.

Maybe nine is about knowing when something is complete.

And maybe the freedom comes from understanding that completion does not mean you have stopped creating.

It means you know when to move.

So this is where I am now.

Not retired from thinking.

Not retired from humanity.

Not retired from creation.

Just retired from forcing myself into one particular role.

I can be all.

I can create none of the boxes.

I can walk through all of them.

And wherever the next chapter takes me, I will still be making something that gives value to humanity.

That is the continuity.

That is the Ouroboros.

That is my eight.

And for now—

I’m just going to make art.

So, as a creative, my first next step is to look at the numbers that I relate. Because when you look at eight, eight is basically infinite creation. So seven is only creation. It’s like the introduction to creation. But eight is its fullness, because it’s infinity. It’s the ability to continuously integrate. So once you get one integration, you’ve now learned how to integrate, and now the job is to continuously integrate in different places the exact same frequency of continuation that you’ve chosen to walk by, your identity. Nine is completion, but nine doesn’t need elevation in order to be completed. It’s completed on itself. It’s just completion, the aspect of finality, meaning that nine could be worth one, and eight could be worth ten. But because eight seems infinite and without one segmented being, then the mirror becomes distorted, because then you look at nine, which seems final, but it isn’t. And then you look at eight, which is actually able to continuously find finality to things, because… and that’s where protection comes in, where self-worth comes in, because if you allow certain things to happen without saying or doing nothing about it, then that’s on you. But the ability to continuously offer yourself and offer the value that you can bring to spaces, and then taking the lack of collaboration or participation as lack of urgency to understanding the importance of that creation itself, then that’s where you start looking at self-preservation. Because infinity needs to be able to continuously grow infinitely, and if there is places where the doors don’t open, then we’re not going to attack it with more force, unless obviously there is levels to everything. But there’s always a time where there is a decrease, there is a slowing down period, and that leads to a finality of its own self, just like the political campaign. And a couple of quotes that I wrote down is: Never compare me to others; you’ll do yourself a disservice. Never assume you’ve understood my intentions without asking clarification, still knowing there is infinite ways I could still see other intentions connected to it. I am magical. It’s only that people haven’t seen it. I can be a couple of different artists now, the one that writes cruelly everything she sees, or with the fluidity of the character Crystal, and continue that character, especially having that storyline open, and allow her to just embody all thoughts that no one else could possibly, well, based on the energies that I’ve shown to house, thoughts that no one else has the ability to hold in order to have a conversation. I love a conversation, so it becomes art. So that everyone can never doubt my thoughts, my intentions, and no one can say my movies were ever fiction, because they’re all real-life based. The delivery is just cartoonized, but the storyline is actually quite real. She knows she can and eventually will have things like superpowers, but again the delivery is fictionalized, but the crystal doesn’t yet have the manifestation of her powers yet, and she’s aware of that. As now, she’s a best social hero, a social supervillain, and I’m choosing to continue for the now that there is nothing magical about the experience other than synchronicities and the numerous amount of synchronicities happening and alignments happening and opportunities opening. So I’ll just be simply me, doing life and posting my thoughts through art. Even if it taps into topics of the past like politics and whatnot, it does not mean that I’m opening that chapter of my life. It just means that I’m talking about something that affects my life, and at the same time I’m nurturing the machine of my creations, and all my creations nurture each other. Every timeline that I choose nurture nurtures the other, because… because… the guy just asked me if I’m reading the Bible. And just because they all are in the quest of bringing value to humanity, that still counts, and that is the one thing that really counts at the end of the day. So whether it’s politics, whether it’s art, whether it’s any other segment of life, the value is still the same, and that means that it’s interchangeable in between. So I know that one day I might open up a bank, or choose to get just the pieces of paper that allows me to be a lawyer, or even just through the creativity, get the numbers that then push me into the politics. So it really depends on how life manifests itself, but I’m also fluid enough and grounded in myself to know that no matter the direction, it will lead to greatness either way. So it’s fantastic. And the next chapter, there’s different chapters. There could be creative battles that I could gain. There could be… because everything fuels the character, but at the same time I’m also the creator of SHS. So SHS benefits me regardless of circumstances. I choose what to bring, because I am the one that’s also delivering the same laws and whatnot to SHS. But there is something fundamental that I will donate to a possible future in politics, and that is that, to answer the question: How do we avoid a head of state, or someone that has, like, the highest level of responsibility and whatnot? Obviously I’m using the example of head of state because of the recent conversation about SHS. But that is also when it comes to roles that are indispensable to humanity in that specific moment in time for that specific role, because no one else can do it. Literally no, if there is no one else that can do it, that can do whatever needs to be done at that specific moment in time, then one cannot just retire. How do we protect humanity towards that through SHS? That is a question as well that we really need to look at, because if I was to take on the role of responsibility, imagine that humanity says, Okay, yes, let’s do it, and then one day I decide, You know what? I’m just going to go on a holiday. I shouldn’t be allowed to do that, especially after taking on the responsibility, because I need to be accountable to that responsibility, granted that’s a responsibility. So in those moments we need to treat our leaders just like they were employees. So there are specific days, there are specific hours, there are specific, like, maternity or paternity, or even the case of bereavement, or the case of, like, retirement. Okay, one can retire for three years, let’s say, and within those three years we look at having someone that can refill the role, and if there’s no one that can refill the role, then that person needs to come back, because it’s what humanity would need at that specific moment in time. Putting on a bad leader makes so that humanity also is affected by the lacks of that leader, and when there is one that is the better fit, it just makes sense, you know? Because… and also there’s also the fact that one cannot just use the medical mental or rest card, because obviously rest does fuel the rest that the mind might need in order to then bring the highest level of standards and whatnot, of thinking, clear thinking, but it cannot just be used out of laziness. So there has to be a valuable reasoning, and it cannot become a pattern, because when it becomes a pattern, then it becomes just someone that doesn’t want to necessarily do the work, you know? And they can have to them whatever they need in order to be able to feel like they can continue doing the role without sacrificing on the things that they want in that specific moment in time, meaning that if I have to govern and I’m retired, and I put myself… In circumstances of, like, being on a beach or something like that, and I need the heat for that specific moment in time, and that’s where I think the clearest. Then putting in the grayness of London, it’s counterproductive, if I can do the role from there as well, you know? It’s finding the bridge in between, so that the responsibility can exist without also taking away from the life of the individual, you know? There’s ways to do everything. And by looking also as such from the outside, I created an Ouroboros outside of myself, because I’m outside of it: a self-feeding creative machine, the greatest of all, probably. The capacity to be all and choose none, but also navigating all, because of the choosing not one, while leaving great nuggets behind for each and every single individual aspect covered, where everything feeds everything else into each and individual ones as well. And at any point in time, one could literally pick up on any hat and continuously grow from there, because they had already grown beyond the standard of humanity at that specific moment in time, unless it catches up with that. And that’s simply because humanity gave them, gave me, the freedom to be all, without capping me in any individual aspect of society. It allowed me to grow, and it has only shown me, because it has shown me lack of growth in comparison, or in alignment, or in ability to hold the line of my intensity. And so I have continuously moved in another road that needed growth, until the intensity of it became too much, and the choice of moving on another road became the inevitability. Because I also love to be claimed, you know? I’m offering my own intellect to humanity. It’s my prerogative to choose where to put it, because, to me, it’s the creativity. I just need to be able to think. So I can bring that in any aspect of life. It doesn’t matter where I am at. I’m free to be all, if not, because I am not any one individual one. I allow myself to be exactly what humanity is, every individual aspect of humanity. And I also, because I understand the intensity of my being, any individual aspect of life, if you want me to stay, needs to be, like, expressed sensuality, an expressed agreement, an expressed desire. Because many that did, thinking that they could hold the line of my identity, didn’t. So especially at this moment of current in time, that to me is the most important thing into engaging in any relationship, in any partnership, in any type of connection with any human being, you know? And that to me is that in the lack of clarity I play. With clarity, I’m responsible. Simple as that, because I actually bring value. And there’s also the understanding that so many try to want the benefit of that without actually doing the work, you know? There’s many of that, but I’m actually doing the work, and forever. However far I go, my creations will always be the proof in the pudding. And I can be full of myself openly, no shame. I can be arrogance, arrogant, all of it. No shame. I can be the star at the moment, the main character. I was at the park, Victoria Park, and there’s, like, this big tree, everyone was sitting on the bench, and I sat on it. I made it my throne, you know? It’s beautiful. Queen Victoria, well, Victoria Park, the park of victory. And it wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t because the Queen Victoria hadn’t existed. And someone before called me the queen. You’re the queen, they told me. It matches the lines amazingly. Beautiful.